Friday, May 30, 2014

Graduation day!

Yesterday was graduation day!!  We left work a little after 3 and headed to the office.  We were called back quickly and Dr. S started the ultrasound.  Butterfly showed up right away, her heart steadily beating away.  Dr. S started taking measurements and pointed out that she was a little trouble maker already.  She wouldn't move out of the way so he could get a look at the fetal pole.  Definitely Dave's daughter.

Dr. S did find a small dark spot where the placenta had separated a bit.  He said that was likely the cause of my bleeding episode last week and it should fix itself.  My right ovary was nowhere to found and my left was being obscured by my uterus.  He mentioned that if I have a C-section we should have them look for my right ovary while they're in there just to see what it's up to.  It hasn't been seen since ER in February.  

The little trouble maker
Once he finished the scan I got dressed and we met in his office.  He went through my enormous chart and flagged pages for the secretary to copy.  I am to stay on my meds until July 1st, when I'll be 12 weeks along.  He did cut my PIO dose in half, hopefully that will help make it more bearable.  Dr. S said that if the PIO became too much we could switch to all Prometrium, one in the morning and two at night.  I'd rather stick with what's working to be honest.  The pain is temporary, my butt will have time to heal.

After finishing the flagging we went to the front desk so the secretary could start copying.  Dr. S wished us luck and asked us to bring the baby around next year so everyone could meet her.  All the staff congratulated us on our graduation, apparently there had been a lot of graduations that day.  Our files were copied quickly and we left the office.

It felt strange to be released from our RE.  For the past year and a half that office has been a huge part of our lives.  Now we're back in the real world and going to my OB.  I'll be treated like a normal, albeit high risk, pregnant lady.  I still can't believe that this could be it, butterfly could very well be our rainbow.  I talk to her every night before going to sleep, tell her how much we love her, and ask her to please keep growing big and strong.  Dave kissed my belly and said good night to our little blueberry last night.  He is getting so excited about being a dad!  He's going to be an amazing father :)

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

7 weeks (and our Memorial Day weekend adventure)

Well, it's been a crazy week.  On Wednesday Dave and I got up early to finish packing.  The taxi picked us up at 9:15 to take us to the train station.  We would be taking NJ transit to Metro Park to catch our Amtrak train.  Once in Metro Park I felt some wetness and went to the bathroom.  My panty liner was almost filled with reddish brown blood.  Cue extreme panic.  I immediately called the office.  Nurse V said to stay calm, stay off my feet, and monitor the bleeding over the next few hours.

Once on the train we met up with my brother and his girlfriend.  The bleeding slowed significantly and stayed reddish brown and I never had any cramping or pain..  About thirty minutes before I had to check in with Nurse V I sneezed and felt a clot pass.  After checking in the bathroom there was indeed a good size black clot surrounded by brownish blood.  I called Nurse V and she said to continue taking it easy and if I had anymore red bleeding or pain then we had to go to the ER.  Dr. S was not in that day so a nurse would be calling me the next morning with further instructions.

We arrived in Boston and were picked up by my Dad.  By the time we got to my parent's house I had to race inside before I peed myself.  At that point I was only having very light brown spotting.  After filling everyone in on the situation I was sent to the couch.  My mom brought me dinner and my siblings went out to get me ice cream.  I was very happy to be surrounded by loving family.

The next day there was no spotting in sight.  We went out to our favorite breakfast place, then came home and loafed around for most of the morning.  Around 3:00 we started getting ready for my sister's graduation.  My phone rang, it was Dr. S' office.  Nurse E was on the other end, Dr. S wanted me to go to the ER and get a Rhogam shot as a precaution since I am Rh-negative.  I've had this shot once before during my previous miscarriage, but thought it wouldn't be necessary this time around since Dave has the same blood type.  Nurse E was insistent.  I was angry at the timing, they should have called earlier in the day.  We made plans to head to the ER after the graduation.

We met up with my aunt, uncle, and cousins at the school.  They had come down in the RV, we had planned to leave from my parent's house after the graduation.  We started talking about the trip down to Kings Dominion and we informed them of my non-rider status this year.  They were all thrilled at the news.  I also was able to share the news with my great aunt and she was delighted.  The graduation was beautiful, it was crazy to see my baby sister walk across the stage and get her diploma.  She's all grown up now.

After the ceremony was over and pictures were done, Dave and I took my sister's car and headed to the ER.  The closest hospital happened to be the hospital my siblings and I were born in.  Luckily the ER wasn't too crowded and I was called back relatively quickly.  They wanted to do an ultrasound, but Dr. S had said he didn't want one done to keep the trauma to the uterus and vagina to a minimum.  Instead I got a few vials of blood drawn and we waited.  They needed to confirm my blood type before the pharmacy would release the Rhogam.  After nearly an hour another PA came into the room.  The blood bank needed a double confirmation on my blood type.  Of course.  He had to draw blood from a different place than the previous PA so he had to go for my hand.  Awesome.

Three hours after we had been called back they were finally able to do the shot.  We were tired, hungry, and upset.  The shot was over quickly and I was finally discharged.  The nurse printed out the blood work results so I could give them to Dr. S.  My HCG came back at 14,644, a doubling time of about 64 hours from the previous draw.  Well within the normal range of where it should be.  We headed back to my parent's place, finished packing, and started the journey down to Virginia.

I ended up having to do my Prometrium and PIO in the back bed of the RV because of the timing.  At least we were able to do the PIO while stopped at my brother's place.  Once we got to the hotel we deposited our stuff, showered, and got some much needed breakfast.  After breakfast we headed into the park.  It was very quiet on the Friday and everyone was able to get on the rides very quickly.  I sat with my mom and aunt they made sure I was drinking enough water and eating properly.

Over the weekend I had a few instances of stretching feelings in my uterus.  I think little girl was making it known that she was okay and still growing strong.  Other symptoms have been very heavy breasts, a crazy bloat blump, evening nausea, and a serious craving for english muffins with butter and jelly.  I kept well hydrated and stayed off my feet as much as possible.  It was a really fantastic weekend.  I can't wait for next year to introduce baby girl to our wonderful family tradition.  She did get to go on her first ride this year though, a leisurely spin on the carousel.

7 week blump with bonus cat and messy bedroom

How far along? 7 weeks
Total weight loss/gain? +3 lbs
Stretch marks? Nothing new
Maternity clothes? Just my comfy Old Navy maxi, it's getting a lot of use
Sleep? Definitely still tired all the time.  I went back to sleep after PIO this morning and didn't wake up until 9:30
Gender? Girl
Best moment last week? Sharing the news with more family.
Movement? None
Food cravings? English muffins with butter and jelly
Belly button in/out? Innie
What I miss: Sex
What I am looking forward to: Our next ultrasound on Thursday!
Milestones: Butterfly is the size of a blueberry!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

6 weeks

After what seemed like an eternity we were called back to the ultrasound room.  So, we meet once again dildo cam.  Dave stood next to me and Dr. S started the scan.  We immediately saw the sac.  Dr. S zoomed in and pointed out the yolk sac surrounding our little butterfly.  She appeared as a tiny ball, but I could see the consistent fluttering of her heart beating.  He continued taking measurements of the sac, my uterus, and checked on my ovaries.  Everything looked great in his opinion.  Once finished we convened in his office to discuss further details.

He said everything looked perfect for how far along we are.  He wants us back late next week for another ultrasound.  At that point we will get pictures, he'll adjust my meds, and we'll be released to my OB.  How crazy is that?!  We went over the current med regime.  He said if PIO was becoming unbearable I could switch to 2-3x a day Prometrium.  Despite a very sore bottom, I'd rather stick with what's working.  The doses will likely be halved next week.  After printing out a sheet of dos and don'ts we headed back to work in very high spirits.

How far along? 6 weeks
Total weight loss/gain? 0, holding steady so far
Stretch marks? No new ones yet
Maternity Clothes? Just a very comfy Old Navy maternity maxi skirt I got on sale.  Really helps on very bloaty days.
Sleep? Still feeling tired all the time.  We had friends over last night and I stayed up until midnight, definitely paying for it today.
Gender? Baby is a girl
Best moment last week? Seeing the heartbeat today!
Movement? None
Food cravings? Having more aversions than cravings
Belly button in/out? Innie
What I miss: Delicious caffeinated coffee
What I am looking forward to: Heading up to Boston tomorrow!  Can't wait to see my family and friends, it's been too long!
Milestones: Butterfly is measuring right on track for 6 weeks and got to see her heartbeat.

Two hours

Two hours from now we'll be seeing butterfly.  Last time we saw her was transfer day.  She appeared as a bright dot on the u/s screen.  I can't wait to see how much she's grown!  Today is going by so slowly!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Final beta

1585!!  That's a doubling time of 34 hours.  Nurse V was very happy and I am officially done with betas!  It was now time to schedule the first ultrasound.  The original date range she gave was the 21st through the 23rd.  Our train leaves for Boston at 11am on the 21st.  Womp womp.  She transferred me to the front desk to book the appointment.

The receptionist checked Dr. S' schedule.  He was not in the office at all on Wednesday.  Womp womp.  She went to ask if it was okay if I saw another RE in the practice.  That was fine, but the other RE in the office that day only had availability after 11:30.  Womp womp.  I asked if coming in the day before would be okay, I really didn't want to wait until after we got back on Memorial Day.  She went to check again with Nurse V and Dr. S.  Dr. S said it would be fine as I would be exactly six weeks that day.  So we get to see butterfly in the early afternoon on the 20th.  We may even get to see her little heartbeat!  Next week cannot come soon enough!

New look

With this blog transitioning into pregnancy after IF I felt it was time for a new look.  For now it is very basic and I'm liking the cleaner look and color scheme.  The background was one of the stock Blogger images and the only one that had butterflies in it.  I'm going to look around to find a better background, but for now this one will do.

Three weeks of daily PIO and twice weekly Delestrogen have taken a toll on my rear.  The shots are becoming more painful as Dave tries to find a spot that is not bruised.  I finally took a look in the mirror last night and it was slightly horrifying.  Last night was a Delestrogen night and the needle hurt a lot going in.  My reaction scared Dave and he pulled the needle out, not wanting to hurt me.  Whoops.  After reassuring him that I was okay, he did the shot and it burned like hell.  Hopefully only five more weeks of shots to go!

This morning we got up early, did PIO (ouch), and headed to the RE office.  Today would be my final beta.  After dropping me off Dave headed out to grab breakfast.  Of course the waiting room was empty so I was called back right away.  Nurse MJ was wearing her butterfly shirt once again!  She was excited to see me and was happy to hear how well my numbers were progressing.  After navigating my tricky veins she got enough blood and I was free to go.

Now the wait begins.  Nurse V will call with the results this afternoon.  If everything is still good we can schedule the first ultrasound!  I can't wait to see butterfly!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

5 weeks

After yesterday's beta I feel comfortable enough to transition into pregnancy terms.  I've added a ticker and will keep a log of important dates and milestones on the sidebar as butterfly and I progress.  It feels strange to have this blog go from documenting our infertility struggles to now following our journey through pregnancy, but here we are.

5 weeks bloat, very sexy
How far along? 5 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? 0 (Took my starting weight this morning)
Stretch marks? Just the ones from IVF on my sides
Sleep? Can't get enough of it, I'm usually in bed by 10pm
Gender? Butterfly is a girl!
Best moment last week? Telling our parents.  They were so incredibly happy!
Movement? Won't be feeling anything for a while
Food cravings? All the food!  My appetite has really picked up and I'm grazing throughout the day.  Trying to stick to healthy snacks like yogurt and bananas.
Belly button in/out? Innie, likely for many months
What I miss: Alcohol, sex, and exercise.
What I am looking forward to: Final beta tomorrow and scheduling our first ultrasound!
Milestones: I have now passed all of my loss milestones!  Betas are doubling in less than 48 hours, butterfly is right on track!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Project Butterfly: Beta #3

594!!  That's a doubling time of 39 hours.  Dr. S is very happy with our progression.  I go back in for final beta on Wednesday morning.  When Nurse V calls in the afternoon with results we will schedule the first ultrasound!!  We are so incredibly happy, baby girl is growing strong!

Project Butterfly: Mother's Day

On SAIF someone posted asking what Mother's Day last year was like for you.  Last year I was still struggling with the diagnosis of my unicornuate uterus.  The abnormal bleeding and super thick uterine lining had Dr. S scheduling an endometrial biopsy.  It felt like our whole world had been turned upside down.  Mother's Day last year was just awful.  If I had not miscarried that first pregnancy it would have been my first Mother's Day.  Instead I was reeling from the knowledge that I was born incomplete and it could not be fixed.

It's truly amazing how much can change in a year.  Yesterday I was 4w5d, the point at which I started bleeding heavily last pregnancy.  Honestly, I was feeling great except for a very sore bum after the morning PIO.  A little before noon Dave and I called my mom on speakerphone.  After exchanging hellos I told her "Happy Mother's Day Nana!".  She asked "really?" about five times.  My whole family was so excited and we laughed at how my mother, brother, and sister had the same multiple "really?" reaction.  I am so excited to see everyone in person next week!

We met up with Dave's parents for dinner later that night.  Before heading up we picked up two cards and some chocolates.  The first card was the usual funny card from the two of us.  The second card was a grandmother card.  It was perfect since it didn't have 'Grandma' written in big letter.  Instead the text at the bottom read "our family is so lucky to have such a wonderful mom and grandma".  I had hidden the second card inside the tissue paper with the chocolate.

Once we sat down at the table MIL started opening the gift.  She was surprised finding the second card.  Dave and I watched her closely as she read it.  You could see the exact moment she read the word grandma.  Then started the "oh my God"s and "are you serious?".  We told her to keep reading.  The card had been signed "Love, David & Meagan & Granddaughter (coming January 13, 2015)".  Yes, butterfly is a girl.  She started to cry and hugged us.  At that point our waitress came over and asked MIL "Just find out you are going to be a Grandma?".  We all laughed and we happily talked about the next steps.  They can't wait until we announce, but promised to stay tight lipped until then.

This morning we got up early for beta #3.  Amazingly I have not used any more pregnancy tests since Thursday.  The nurse was wearing her butterfly shirt again this morning, taking that as a very good sign.  It's going to be a very long day waiting for that call.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Project Butterfly: Beta #2

108!!!!!  I could barely believe it when Nurse V gave the number.  That is nearly quadruple beta #1!  She passed along Dr. S' personal congratulations, he was incredibly happy with the number.  We go back in Monday for repeat beta and once the number gets high enough we'll schedule the first ultrasound!

This could be it, this may be our sweet rainbow baby!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Project Butterfly: 9dp6dt / 4w1d

It feels strange to be transitioning from thinking in FET days to pregnancy days.  Today I am 9dp6dt as well as 4w1d pregnant.  After yesterday's low beta I didn't think I'd be able to comfortably refer to myself in pregnancy terms.  This morning's test changed my attitude.

The difference two days makes is amazing.  It's even a good amount darker than yesterday!  Butterfly may have had a slow start, but is still going strong in there.  Tomorrow afternoon cannot come soon enough!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Project Butterfly: Beta #1

Well first beta came back at 28.4.  Nurse V said not to worry too much about the low number as it's still early (8dp6dt).  I go back on Thursday morning for beta #2.

Googling has helped and freaked me out a bit.  The general consensus is that FETs are slow starters for betas.  Still I found many instances of betas being more around 50 for others that had 8dp6dt betas.  I'm finding solace in the fact that today's test was just as dark as yesterdays.  Little butterfly is in there and just starting to wake up.  Thursday will be better.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Project Butterfly: A line is a line

I ended up caving on Friday night (4dp6dt) and used a wondfo HPT.  After dipping the stick I had the usual "what am I doing?  It's way too early" mental battle.  My justification was that the wondfos expire in June so I might as well use them up now.  After the standard wait time I glanced at the test and could not believe my eyes.  There was the faint shadow of a line!  After testing again (with FRER) that night, Saturday morning, Sunday morning, and again this morning we were so excited to see the second line get darker.  Here is the fade in pic, sorry for the horrendous quality.

This morning I called Nurse V and left a message to see if we could come in for an earlier beta.  Thursday is too far away.  She called back with my P4 results from Friday, they had to send it out as their machine was broken.  It was 14.5, well within the normal range.  It had been a busy morning and hadn't heard my message yet so I asked about the beta.  She sounded so happy after hearing about the positive tests.  While they like to do the beta at 10dp6dt we could definitely go in tomorrow morning for earlier blood work.  The number may be a bit low, but what matters is that it doubles every 48 hours.

If the numbers look good we've decided to tell our parents on Mother's Day.  We've been vague on the details of when we'd find out if it worked or not so hopefully it will be a nice surprise.  My due date is January 13th, but with my UU it's likely our butterfly would be born a little early.  While I won't be able to relax until baby is actually here, what with all of the unknown UU factors and previous loss, today I am pregnant and I love my baby.  

Friday, May 2, 2014

Project Butterfly: 4dp6dt

Yesterday was the day from hell.  We had terrible rain storms all day Wednesday well into the night.  Thursday morning we headed out, got our breakfast as usual, and headed down our usual route.  Our town is very small and there are only four roads that come in and out.  The usual road we take was closed off so we had to turn around and head out through the woods route.  Cue the standstill traffic.  It took 40 minutes to go a 1/2 mile.  Once we cleared that mess we headed to the back roads to avoid the building traffic on the main roads.  As we're driving down a windy back road there was a loud pop as one of the rear tires blew out.  Awesome.

Luckily we have AAA, though it was difficult to give them directions to our back road location.  It was past 8 am at this point and it would be an hour and a half before AAA got to us.  Fantastic.  At 9:30 our hero arrived and was able to get the tire replaced with the donut fairly quickly.  We headed back home to eat our cold breakfast and switch cars.  We didn't get to work until 11.

For the rest of the day I felt like absolute crap.  We had dinner plans with Dave's folks that night and had to rush to catch up on work.  Thankfully the end of the work day arrived without a melt down and we headed north for dinner.  Dinner was uneventful and we made our way home.  Finally able to relax we both collapsed onto the couch and caught up on our shows.  

Today I am 4 day past 6 day transfer, aka 10dpo.  I'm feeling much better and optimistic.  The plan is to start testing tomorrow with wondfos (cheap HPTs), but I may cave and try one tonight.