FF giveth and taketh away.

Over the weekend my temp stayed down in the 96.8 range and FF took away my cross hairs.  So much for ovulating this cycle.  I've started cramping and had some red spotting last night so hopefully my period will show up soon.  If it showed up today or tomorrow the timing would work out to start Clomid this cycle!

We're heading down to DC on Thursday night for a wedding and coming back Sunday.  Then next week we head down to Baltimore on Wednesday night and come back late Sunday.  In a perfect world this Thursday would be CD 3/4 and next Wednesday would be CD 10/11.  On a Clomid cycle I'll need to have a CD3 u/s to check my ovaries for cysts.  After an all clear I would take the Clo from CD 3-7.  Then on CD 10ish I would have another u/s to check response.  I figure Dr. S will have us do TI (timed intercourse) since Dave's numbers are great, but don't know if we'll do a trigger shot.  

So much of infertility is just waiting.  We've done a lot of waiting the past 6 months and are finally one step away from moving forward.  Come on mini ute, let's get the timing right on this one!             

False hope, yet again

Want to see a really ugly chart with lying liar cross hairs?

Pretty awful right?  My temperature has been fluctuating like crazy, making me wonder if I have a new habit of mouth breathing at night.  I had been so excited at the possibility of a Provera reset leading to ovulation, but now I am just sad and disappointed.  

We are going away for extended weekend trips the first two weeks of August.  If my period were to start in a certain two to three day window we will not be able to do Clomid this cycle.  Honestly I see this ending after a round of Provera, hopefully putting CD 1 on or after August 12th.  

Looking at my work calendar today as I was setting up a timeline for our next project it struck me how much of the year is gone.  With a sense of dread in my stomach I realized how close November is.  Four months.  Our angel baby should be turning 1 year old this November.  I thought I would get pregnant again quickly, that I wouldn't have to deal with the EDD while still trying to conceive.  Instead we've gone through the EDD, anniversary of the BFP and loss, and now possibly the anniversary of the EDD.  

I try not to get jealous or resentful, other people deserve happiness and there are certainly people who are going through far worse than us.  I just want our rainbow baby.

Out of the woods

Dr. S called yesterday with the pathology results from my endometrial biopsy.  Everything came back clear!  Dr. S said he was pleasantly surprised, he had been expecting hyperplasia.  It looks like the thickness was caused by multiple anovulatory cycles.    

The testing phase is officially over, we can finally move forward with treatments.  Since our problem stems from my lack of ovulation Dr. S wants to get me on Clomid.  With my uterus being more of a small studio apartment than the the standard one bedroom there is only room for one baby at a time.  The risk of multiples is low with Clomid, 8% according to Dr. S.  Starting out slow is the plan, giving the lowest dose a try and see how I respond.  All we have to do now is wait for my period.

Want to hear some other possibly exciting news?  For the first time since March it looks like I ovulated.  My chart has cross hairs!  Not temping during our vacation definitely took a toll on the calculations so they may not be accurate.  Best I can tell it either happened on CD 15 or 18.  Our timing wasn't bad, but I'm really not holding out that much hope for a BFP.

Our very first appointment with Dr. S was January 23rd.  Six months ago we sat in his office, listening to the first visit spiel and getting paperwork and instructions for all of our testing.  Now here we are, with what seems like countless hurdles overcome.  It can only go up from here.

Shut up and take my money

Hobby Lobby is going to take all my money.

A brand new one just opened near us so we headed there after work on Wednesday.  It was like a dream come true.  The very best things about Joann's, A.C. Moore, Michaels, Home Goods, and the Christmas Tree Shop all rolled into one store.  I have been wanting to get into some crafty projects and Dave was very excited about the models and paints.  Congratulations Hobby Lobby, you will be acquiring quite a bit of money from us.

I am working on my costume for Otakon (yes, I'm a cosplaying otaku) and was able to get all the fabric, bias tape, velcro, pattern, and thread for about $70.  Hopefully between YouTube videos and my minimal sewing skills I can get this project done in the next three weeks.  I've never sewn anything completely on my own before and it is a little daunting.  It's a group cosplay too, adding on the pressure to make sure my costume looks good.

I am hoping it goes well and I gain a bit more confidence with sewing.  There are a few projects I have in mind and many more that I'd like to do during pregnancy.  Since we cleaned out the second bedroom for Space Game Weekend it has become the designated craft room.  We had purchased two adjustable height 6' tables from Costco for gaming.  Those are now set up and covered with everything I need for my project.

So far I have finished cutting out the patterns and will be doing all of the pinning tonight.  Hopefully I will have all the pinning and cutting done this weekend.  Maybe I can even get some of the pieces pinned together if I'm lucky.

Back to reality

St. Lucia was amazing!  The weather was absolutely perfect, mid 80s and partly cloudy the entire time.  The hotel was small, but the staff was very attentive and kind.  Most of our time was spent sitting by the pool drinking fruity concoctions and reading.  I can't even count how many frozen Banana Mamas I drank over the five days.  In usual fashion I got a wicked sunburn on the first day.  It's gone down a bit, but I will be wearing pants for the next few days.  We came home with a bottle of Chairman's spiced rum as our only souvenir.

I am charting again this cycle, but didn't bring the thermometer on vacation.  A small part of me hoped to come home to a big temp spike.  Of course I don't have that kind of luck.  Conceiving during a tropical getaway right before we start treatments?  Unfortunately that's not how our story is going to play out.

Woke up to a normal pre-O temp on Monday morning.  Shook it off and got ready for the day.  Dave and I had taken the day off from work, wanting an extra day to come down from our vacation high.  What better way to do that than an endometrial biopsy?  Yep, nearly two months after the original appointment the biopsy was finally done.  Dr. S commented that we needed to work quickly before I started bleeding again.  The procedure was quick, but fairly painful.  He proved that the radiologist who did my HSG was an idiot.  Within a minute Dr. S had placed the speculum, cleaned my cervix with iodine, and inserted the catheter.  So much for that weirdly placed cervix.  In order to collect the lining sample Dr. S had to swirl the catheter around to create suction.  The cramps were unbelievable.  I had to do some deep breathing to get through the pain.  Dr. S triple checked that he had collected a large enough sample.  He said one of the worst calls to get from pathology was that they needed a bigger sample.  The results will be back in about a week and we will go from there.

We spent the rest of the day doing fun things, like seeing Pacific Rim.  Seriously one of the best summer blockbusters I have ever seen.  It's everything you ever wanted out of a giant robot vs. monsters movie.  We will probably see it at least two or three more times in theaters.  We finished out the day with our weekly Game Night.  Dave made beef kebabs for dinner and we played Illuminati.  Illuminati is an older card game that places you in charge of a secret society.  You have to gain control of different groups like Sci Fi Fans, Democrats, the Phone Company, etc.  The first person to have 9 groups under their control wins.  Each secret society also has a secret objective like collecting a certain amount of money or having a certain number of groups with the same classification (weird, liberal, violent, fanatic, etc.).  It was fun, but a bit slow in the beginning.  Nobody had really played it before and the first two rounds were spent stumbling through the rules.

This morning I had a small temp spike, but it could just be from drinking last night.  We'll see what the next few days hold.

Away we go

Less than 10 minutes left at work and we will officially be on vacation.  In 24 hours we will be sitting by the pool, relaxing with drink in hand.  I can't believe this is finally here!  Luckily it seems like TS Chantal will be well on her way past the islands by the time we land.  Forecast calls for partly cloudy skies and 85 degree weather for our entire stay.

We will be staying with Dave's folks tonight.  There are a few more small errands we need to finish up, the biggest being a small load of laundry.  I really hate not having a washer/dryer, but we'll be buying a new one as soon as we get back.

See you all in a few days!  

Two more days

Yep, in two days we will be on a plane heading towards tropical paradise.

Not a bad view

We had an excellent four day weekend.  The 4th was spent chilling out at home and running a few errands.  We saw a late showing of This Is The End with our friend P, it was absolutely hysterical.  On Friday we did a Costco run and I got my nails done.  They had just got in the new Essie collection and I could not resist the Naughty Nautical.  I will definitely be buying a bottle for myself.  FYI, I have already horribly chipped my manicure.  I suck at being a girl.

Essie's Naughty Nautical

Saturday was a very busy day.  We ended up waking up late, which threw our morning plans off.  Our friends J and C were hosting an afternoon BBQ at their place, about an hour away from us.  We stayed for a few hours and got to see a lot of old friends.  Then we were off again for the main event, Space Game Weekend.  

We host a board game night every week, but usually only have a few hours to play one or two short games.  There is never enough time to be able to go through our more epic games, which are all space related, like Eclipse and Twilight Imperium.  Everyone arrived around 7pm and we set up Eclipse.  It takes about 30 to 45 minutes to just set up the game and try to walk the 3 Eclipse virgins through the game mechanics.  It's a hex board building game with aspects of exploration, space battles, researching technology, building fleets, diplomacy, and being a dick to your friends.  It took us about 7 hours to play with 7 people (Dave and I tag teamed since we were cooking/making sangria/various other hosting duties).  It was around 3am by the time it was finished so we all went to bed.  

Eclipse, Dave and I were green :)

In the morning Dave was the breakfast king and whipped up scrambled eggs and sausage for everyone.  Nursing our hangovers with strong coffee we set up Galaxy Trucker.  This game was a lot of fun.  You start with a grid board that resembles the shape of a small ship.  There are tons of tiles that represent ship parts like crew quarters, lasers, engines, shields, batteries, storage containers, etc.  You start each round by frantically building your ship from the pile of tiles.  When the first person finishes, everyone has 30 seconds to finish their ship.  Then you start your adventure with the player in first place drawing cards and reacting accordingly.  Sometimes there are planets to colonize or you are attacked by slavers.  Your ship could get torn apart by asteroids and you have to sit out the rest of the round.  There are three rounds, each one giving you a larger ship grid to build on and harder challenges to face.  It went by relatively quickly once we all had the hang of it.

Didn't get any pictures during our game, but this shows some Round 3 ships 

Since it was well into the afternoon once we finished Galaxy Trucker it was decided to hold off on Twilight Imperium.  It is an enormous game and none of us had any idea how long it would take to play.  Instead we broke out Cards Against Humanity until early evening.  It was a very successful weekend and we hope to do it again sometime in August for Twilight Imperium.

      

Provera period

Not a good day to be sitting in training for hours on end.

My endo biopsy has been rescheduled for Monday July 15th.  Fourth time is the charm right?

CD1

Yep, woke up to heavy flow this morning.  Endo biopsy cancelled.

Just waiting to hear back from the nurse about our next move.