Dreaming

One of the many difficult aspects of IF to face is the feeling of isolation.  Your whole life seems to be surrounded by happy couples, easily conceiving beautiful children and waltzing through textbook pregnancies.  Yet there you sit all alone, feeling broken and insignificant.  You know other people deal with IF, you've sat near them in the RE waiting room avoiding eye contact.  Somehow you still feel terribly alone.

When we decided to start TTC I joined The Bump.  The board TTGP (Trying to Get Pregnant) was filled with knowledgeable ladies who weren't afraid to tell it like it is.  No puppies and rainbows to be found there, just snark and funny gifs.  I loved it.  It was hard to watch as most of the ladies got their BFPs and moved on.  Sometimes you can't help but feel left behind, wondering when it will be your turn.

When the time came to see the RE in January I moved over to the TTTC/3T (Trouble TTC) board.  Those ladies kept me sane as each test result came back with bad news.  Without them, the news of my UU probably would have sent me into a deep depression.  Instead I was lifted up by many others dealing with MAs and was able to talk to a few fellow UUers who had successful pregnancies.

A few weeks ago one of the 3Ters invited us to join a private Facebook group for those dealing with IF.  It is an awesome group and there are quite of few of us from New Jersey.  A get together was planned and last Friday the NJ Dreamers met at the Melting Pot.  Dinner was amazing, minus the dropped glass shattering all over M though we did get a lot of free stuff after that.  A second outing has already been planned that will involve our DHs.  

While IF is still a struggle, I don't feel alone anymore.  My phone is constantly blowing up with Dreamer's updates or crazy stickers from the NJ ladies and it always makes me smile.  

These past few weeks have been incredibly hectic.  Now things are starting to settle down and I'm enjoying being on the tail end of the 2WW.  By next week we should be celebrating a BFP or getting our protocol for our first IUI cycle.